Monday, 16 May 2011

Fight Back

This morning I went to see my (Parky’s) Neurologist, and we talked about my worries on my addictive behaviour.

When I get back from China I am going to slowly reduce my requip and see if I can manage, as I said before I don’t know which is the better option, do I struggle to cope with My Parkinson’s  or do I struggle to cope with my guilt. Do I just think to hell with it I will live my life as I like until the money runs out. Then again is it best to pull myself up and risk the chance that Parky will take control.

But I know one thing I will fight tooth and nail to stay in control of my life, I am the most cantankerous person I know. I think I had better look the word up to make sure it is what I mean. 

(cantankerous - stubbornly obstructive and unwilling to cooperate)

Yes I have looked it up it does sound like me, wonder what other words describe me, I could make a list like in the readers digest.

I don’t think I will open it for discussion as the flood gates might open.

This was on face book  and I was quite surprised at the different answers.


It’s all your fault

Where is the bar

Good a friendly face

What did you do?

Just look together again

The first answer was by my youngest so that tells you a lot.

Saturday, 14 May 2011

To Jim

Today is the tenth anniversary of the death of my lovely husband.

When we met I was working in a local hotel in the bar and he was in charge of a group of men who were installing laundry equipment in our local laundry.

I was separated from husband number one and was quite enjoying being single,  because  of what had happened I was livening in a mobile home at the side of my parents, plus 2 children and 2 dogs. He had been divorced a while and was living out of a suite case with a room at his parents.

He said he knew as soon as he saw me, but I was running scared I had decided Love was not for me, who wanted a bloke interfering in my life?

Shall I say with his wacky sense of humour which matched my own, and his total love of me I was won over.

He was a romantic, I still have the cards he sent me. When we got married he whisked me off to Florida and we were married on the beach, I had never seen him so serious.

When he was diagnosed with Prostrate cancer he fought long and hard to overcome it as he said it was the first time in his life that he had all that he wanted.

I feel very privileged that for a few years he was my life, and maybe I was meant to there for him shall I say it was destiny  

He kept his sense of humour right to the end teasing the nurses in St Barnabas Hospice in Lincoln

So today is Jims day a day when I can feel the warmth that he surrounded me with,when I can look back and know that he enriched my life.

Thank you Jim

Thursday, 5 May 2011

Have I Really Got Used to Parky

Hi, I don’t seem to do this blog as often as I would like too, so does that mean that My Mate Parky has become so much a part of my life that I now take him for granted.
On the days that I become robotic, do I make excuses for the tight grip he has on me? Have I now put the blame fairly and squarely on myself? I know I forget to take the odd pill or two but even after about eight years of medication I still don’t think of myself as a pill person.
If I wasn’t feeling very well before Parky I would take myself off to bed and sleep off anything I had wrong. I used to hibernate myself well.
But boy oh boy I can’t do that now, if I have a lay in and ignore the pill time, I find that the toes on my right foot begins to curl under, and just as I wonder what the heck is happening to me, I have that I DON’T BELIEVE IT MOMENT, Bum I have done it again.
(By the way grandchildren, only nanny can say Bum and get away with it; you will get in trouble with Mum. If you tell her I use that word I will deny everything and blame Parky. Isn’t he useful at times?)
I now realise I am becoming one of the senior members of my family, when did that happen? I can’t believe that I am that old, who’s that crinkly grey haired person that lives in my mirror?
The only senior relative on my mum’s side is her cousin who has come to stay for a week, that’s if they can both stand it.
He is a couple of years younger than her and both are set in their ways, it will be like sorting out a couple of naughty children. I am going to fetch him round to me tomorrow. Or should I say today as I am writing this at some strange time.
I am hoping he can fill me in on some family tree information, so that will keep him amused and give mum a bit of peace.