Am I a Bad Risk

I am at a holiday camp with two coach loads from my area, must have emptied the place.
Yesterday I met up with a gentleman from my past to lay ghosts. Is it me, Parky or my drugs that makes me such a bad risk as a lover. I can blame the other person but I must accept that I have rushed in head first then as soon as love is mentioned gone the other way.
Has my addictive nature affected my chance of finding or indeed being a good partner.
How many lives have I messed with?
All i can say is sorry and I hope for a little forgiveness
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