Tuesday, 5 April 2011


I go from feeling top of the world to the depth of despair, I have read what others have said about addictive behaviour and realise I have to do something soon about mine.
What if my medication has to be changed, I dread that as I end up feeling terrible, the thought of feeling sick all the time makes me inclined to say I will stay as I am.
I also know that I have been managing to do day to day things quite well. But and it is a big BUT I am aware that my addictions are not helping me.
I can’t count the hours I spend either on my computer playing games, and probably the same one over and over again, or indeed the hours spent moving things from room to room and never being quite satisfied with the results.
The money I have spent on spur of the moment buys, what once seemed a bit of a laugh now seems quite major.
I booked my trip to China which I don’t regret at all, I have been fascinated by the Terracotta Army since I first heard that they had been found.
I know that I must be at my fittest so that I don’t ruin the holiday not only for me but also for others, so I am sort of thinking don’t rock the boat, what if I weather the addiction until I get back.
I have had several dates with men off the internet, and to be fair they have all been very nice, but that’s it for me just a date.
I really don’t know what I am looking for so I will take myself off the sites as I am not being fair. Perhaps I had better just stick with Parky.
I know that I use him to get me out of situations, and then I get annoyed if people want to help me or look after me.
I must be so annoying to be with

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