Spooky

I have printed out a copy of this Blog ever since I started and put them in an album, This one will bring me to the end of the book, what a lot has gone on, I can't believe that I have kept this going.

Have I managed to do what I set out to do? Well I am not quite sure, so maybe I will carry on with my ramblings, who knows book 2 maybe on the cards.

I have a new follower to my blog, so I clicked on the link to see who it was. The Person calling himself DAD you are very welcome but you did give me a bit of scare. I lost my Dad last year and to say we were very close is a bit of an understatement.

Now I know that even if he was still here, he would have found it impossible to turn a computer on let alone be a follower of anything, but it did make me feel good to see Dad following me.

I seem to be living in no man’s land, a place between elation and desperation.

How do I feel now that I have reduced my requip slightly?

A lot of the time I feel lethargic a sort of not caring if jobs get done.

Have I had any of the old symptoms back?

Perhaps I have, I was given it in the first place because of down time, a wearing off of my four times a day drugs. Now I can tell that it is getting very near time, My legs feel as if I am wading through water, not all the time so I am grateful for that

Do I regret starting out doing it?

Maybe from time to time, should I have let the sleeping dog lie? That remains to be seen.

I wonder how many people are doing the same as me?

My friend J gave me a talking too, I think after watching Vicki on TV she has been wondering how to approach me, well I let her in and talked to her. Admitted a few things and for probably one of the first times listened to her.

She is convinced that I have been fighting so hard to control Parky that I haven't grieved for what he has taken away from me, and WHAM BANG I think she maybe right.

I want ME back, is that really to much to ask for!!!

A Light ???

I have made the decision to remove myself from facebook, I realise that I spend my time waiting for the next time I get points to play games, I sneak into my computer room when I really should be doing something else and just have a look to see how much time there is left. WHY ? Do I really need to spend my time on such things to the extent that I forget to eat, take my pills and don't go out.

I think I may just have stared to get my life back.

Perhaps the cutting down of the requip is having the effect that I wanted, after dreading what was going to happen when I did.

WOW

How do I feel? Well I defiantly know when its time for the Stelevo, but hay that’s good it gives me a kick in the pants, which I need.

I think I am starting to worry a bit about what I am spending which is also good, I may even be able to stop myself from stupid purchases.

Parky has not as yet done anything too drastic, so slowly slowly I may be heading for the light at the end of the tunnel.

Better not get too cocky, but FINGERS CROSSED

Requip Bull by Horns

I seem to be managing the cut down of my Requip, perhaps half the battle is convincing myself that I will not be opening the doors wide to My Mate Parky.

I think the ongoing fear of becoming a shaky stiff being has held me back, I have read lots of things about the side effects and know my drowsiness is not as bad since I cut down 4mg from my morning dose.

I am on slow release so have gone from 20mg to 16mg, after seeing the Dr. (that is my new Dr) this morning I am now going to cut down by 2mg.

I am also on Stelevo 4 times a day and to be fair I haven't always taken the forth one if I have got a bit late, so as the Requip goes down I am making sure that I take the four doses.

I have had a few stiff times but I think I may be a bit to blame, I am not the best of time keepers, so it usually is a wakeup call to pop a pill.

Perhaps if I try mind over matter and stop myself looking on the black side.

Just think how rich I will be when I stop my spending and how fit I will be when I am going to bed at a respectable time.

With a bit of luck I won't become a bit of a bore who gives up risk taking all together, NOOOOOOOOOOOO I can't see that happening to me.

My New toy is a hot tub, now that is spending!!!!!!!!!!!!!

True Blue Day

Yesterday was a one up for Parky, felt like shiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.t

It was one of those times when life seemed so damn difficult that I just wanted to cry.

To be truthful that is what I did several times.

I rang the Parkinson's help line and was helped by the soothing words of one of there nurses. She talked common sense which is what I was very much in need of.

I later got myself organised and went on the bus into Skegness, having done banking and such I went to the supermarket. I realised I had not as yet eaten, why I had missed out on food heaven only knows, well I say I hadn't but I do seem to remember a few squares of chocolate passing my lips.

I grabbed a bight in the café and then ambled around the store as I was no longer hungry nothing looked worth while getting.

I got a few things and then went to the till, I must have looked a bit naff as the guy on the till got me to sit down while he sorted every thing out.

Isn't it brilliant that there are a lot of very nice people about, who go the extra mile at the drop of a hat and through there kindness life seems so much easier to live.

Vicki you are a Star

I take my hat off to Vicki Dillon the lady who was filmed as she tried to cope with her Parkinson's and the addictions that her medication has given her.

Being diagnosed at 35 must have been devastating, I at least had another 20 years without Parky.

Her story was told on channel 4 last night, as I had been away for a couple of days I watched it on the computer.

I am in awe of her, she must be pushing herself to the limit, not only is she still working as a paediatric nurses she then goes home to her husband and 2 boys.

I have read her blog which she writes on the Wobbly Williams site, and I am sure she was the inspiration for my own Parky blog.

I had been told by friends that the program was being shown last night and being a bit cowardly at the moment as I am trying to cut down on my requip, I wasn't sure if I could cope with it.

I am really glad I did, even if it was just to verify that I am not completely boncus.

I know I must get my head around the fact that I have to sort my pills out. I have been on a lower dose for 13 days, I seem to be coping well, maybe a little stiff when I am getting near to the time when I need my other medication.

So now a big decision is tomorrow the day that I take the next step and reduce them again ?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

read Vicki's blog

http://www.wobblywilliams.com/vicki.html

Help me Reduce my Requip

I have taken that first step to try and control Parky's addictive side.

With a sense of dread I have started to cut down my morning dose of Ropinirole (Requip).

For the last few years I have been taking 20mg in a morning 2x8 mg and 1x4 mg.

When I saw the neurologist and discussed my addictive nature we decided that I would slowly cut out the 4mg tablet and give it a bit of time before I braved cutting down a bit more.

So after putting it off as I was once more on holiday I have now taken the bull by the horns and from the first of the month I have only had 16mg a day. That off course is only one of the drugs I am on.

How will Parky act will he creep back in and once more control my life.

Will I be able to cope with what life tends to throw at me?

Who can I turn too for help?

Is it better to keep my addictions and keep Parky under control?

I am so cross that I have to face this while changing Doctors and not having a Parkinson's Nurse.

I do believe if I had had the back up of a nurse we would have talked things through and maybe I would have been changed to another drug before now.

Its as if I have to face having Parkinson's all over again.

BUM BUM BUM AND MORE BUMS.