Sunshine Make me Smile

I have been in my garden today and am really glad I didn’t move, there may be a tad more garden than I can cope with but at least I have my sanctuary.

I even got round to cutting the hedge, not that there is much to cut but at least now I can see the fields instead of just hedge.

I have my hot tub up and running again so I had my first taste of lovely soothing water last night before bed and I intend to do the same tonight. The trouble is when I get in I don’t want to get out so look out for the prune that will be me.

I hate to say this but I have stayed away from my mums so as to deter Parky, I feel very guilty but its self-preservation. I am still not driving as I’m not sure of myself; I was fighting to stay awake on the bus the other day so I better wait until Parky releases his control.

I have found my bit of seaweed that was in my shoe after my escapade on the Isle of White, it is now in a SD case so who knows it could be my lucky charm. I will defiantly blog it if I win the lotto or maybe not as I will be too busy traveling. I should be so lucky.  

Parky Good or Bad

I’m not sure I should be writing this at the moment as I am feeling a bit off. Everything seems too much trouble and I don’t want to do anything.

I think Parky has taken up residence and I wonder how life will work out. I am not usually downbeat but today it would have been nice to climb into a nice cosy spot and disappear.

I am so tired of fighting; I feel my life has lurched from one crisis to another.

BUM BUM BUM.

That’s it stop your moaning girl (well woman) it’s time to get positive.

Parky has introduced me to a lot of friends, in fact I have done things that I never would have done without him. I have Sky Dived, taken a trip to China and Peru, and of course written this blog.

He may make me stiff, he may make me robotic. He stops me from dancing and stops me driving from time to time, this being one of those times.

Maybe it’s the fact that I feel a little bit trapped by him, so is this a taste of things to come. I know I have been lucky up to now but just sometimes I am stopped in my tracks and can’t help wondering what will happen to me if Parky wins the war?

999 for Parky

I am so embarrassed while on holiday on the Isle of White I ended up having to ring 999.

Better start at the beginning.

While I was on holiday I have been struggling with my medication, because it is a bit of a stressful time my pill popping seems to be a bit off. Yesterday I decided to go for a walk with camera as walking is good for Parkinson’s and concentrating on my photography would relax me.

I set out by myself along the beach, took a few photo’s saw a bench just up from the beach where I sat and made a couple of calls on my mobile and popped it into my pocket. I could see a path which looked to be heading away from the beach so started out only to find it ended in mud trying various other paths I gave up and headed back to the beach. BIG MISTAKE.

I came to a land slide and as it was very difficult to get back I did a stupid thing I decided to try going down it. I ended up to my knees in clay one shoe off and one shoe on, when I tried to reach the one I lost I just got sucked down I knew that if I tried to get myself out I would end further in. I also realised that Parky was just waiting to take control; I was going stiff and found it difficult to use my hands. The one thing that I was more than relieved about was that I had kept my mobile in my pocket and not put it back in my rucksack.

What on earth should I do? I rang a friend’s mobile as I thought she had stayed round the hotel only to find she had gone off on the local bus and was told by my friends that I must dial 999.

So that is what I did and felt a complete prat.

What service did I want? I didn’t know

Where was I? I didn’t know

How long had I been walking? I didn’t know

How far had I come? I didn’t know

In the meantime my friends had rung Norton Grange the Warner’s site that we were staying at and all the staff that weren’t doing anything set out to look for me.

From the time I dialled 999 I had someone on the other end of my mobile phone talking to me and slowly I was able to explain how far I had walked and what had happened. The fact that I have Parkinson’s and been stupid enough get myself into such a predicament.

They probably agreed with me but never said and then told me about all the people that were out looking for me. Too my relief 2 firemen appeared then two more I was lifted out my shoes retrieved and washed off in the sea as was my feet. There appeared another fireman who gave me his coat plus a police woman. I was helped along the beach to a waiting paramedic which was then replaced with an ambulance; fortunately the only thing that hurt was my Pride.

 After the police lady used my camera to take a photo of me with my rescuer’s I was looked over and returned to Norton Grange.

I am so grateful to all the very lovely people that came to my aid from the lady on the phone to Mary who works on the camp who took me under her wing. She took my trousers and washed them got the clay off my coat and also ran me a bath to get me warm.

I have now a very warm spot in my heart for the Isle of White, and also my friends who didn’t rant and rave at me for being so stupid but I know they will eyes like hawks the next time we go away.   

I can't let Parky win the war

Monday I am escaping on a coach trip for five days, I am counting down the hours.

I know that Parky has come back into my life with as much force as he can. I’m stiff a lot of the time I scared the cr__ out of myself when I felt myself fighting sleep as I was driving home after visiting my mum in hospital.

I had the window down and Queen playing quite loud, even tried singing to make sure I was safe I know that I will have to leave the car at home till Parky gives me a break.

BUM BUM BUM I just hate not being in control.

I thought I was winning the fight but it seems that at the moment Parky is winning the war.

There is defiantly no chance of a stress free life and Parky feeds on stress. I should not have got so clever thinking there was a way of getting the upper hand.

The D.V.D. I ordered arrived today Qi gong for beginners.

First it was a fight to get in the case then second I have lost the remote for the d v d player, what am I like? Never mind when I can watch it properly I may just have found my fighting gloves I can’t let Parky win the war

Parky's Robot

Is it possible to have a stress free life????????????????

Although I have popped my pills on time I am sat here doing my impression of a robot. I am not sure what exactly caused the change. Maybe my 90 year old mums stay in hospital with the added fact that we don’t know if she will be fit enough to come home. Plus the fact that we don’t know if we would be able to cope if she does.

Yesterday was the 9^th of April and it would have been Jims 65^th birthday, it sort of stops you in your tracks to realise you have been a widow for 12 years. I wonder how things would have been if he had been able to stay with me.

What would he have thought to my mate Parky and would I have done this Blog if he was still here? Maybe not who knows.

Would life have been less stressful if I still had him to lean on?

Today by chance I saw the McMillan Nurse who was such a help to me in Jim’s final year, without her I am sure I would not have managed.

That’s it moan over, 12 years as a widow has taught me many things, first and foremost this is not a practice it’s the real thing.

Second I am now aware of my limitations even though I am useless at telling family and friends that I need help.

Third Life is unpredictable so it’s best to take the blinkers off and look it square in the face

Parky Had Had Enough

Medication was coming down but my 90 year old Mother is causing some stress. I ended up going with her bank holiday Monday to the accident and emergency at the Pilgrim hospital Boston. Many local hospitals no longer have these departments, so when you get there it’s a bit of a meat market. People on trollies lining up down corridors waiting first for the nurse to do there bit then into another corridor to be seen by the Doctor. We had absolutely no idea where we were in the queue and only found out later there a small kitchen to make a drink.

After about three and a half hours I felt Parky starting to protest, I started to roll at about knee level and I knew I was very close to tears.  Suddenly I could not cope at all it was all too much when eventually I was spotted it suddenly became Mums turn.

It does seem ridicules in this day and age that there is no way of communicating to all the lines of trollies what is happening. No one minds that it will be changed for emergencies and Children but give us a bit of a clue.

She was admitted and two days latter is still in so I didn’t spend time there just for fun on a bank holiday. I may be terribly wrong but there were a few times when I wondered if we were being ignored. I’m sure at one point I heard her name mentioned as next in line only to find an hour later that I must have been dreaming.

Finally after she was seen I then had to get home as I had gone in the ambulance with her it ment ringing friends which I am extremely thankful for. Heaven help anyone who hasn’t got a car owning friend